Conflicted
by ReyaP30
Summary: A scene that could possibly be in The Indigo Spell. Sydney can't get Adrian out of her head. THIS IS A ONESHOT!


**Hey everyone! I would like to think that this or even something like this may happen during The Indigo Spell. I really tried to capture what Sydney's realistic thoughts may be.**

**I also have another SydneyxAdrian oneshot called The Imperfect Painting or Paint Me. It depends whether you're reading from The Vampire Academy category or the Bloodlines category. Check that out if you'd like. :)**

**Read and enjoy!**

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I tapped my foot against the carpeted floor, impatient for Jill to get ready. Our trip to Clarence's house would hopefully be a short one since Adrian had stopped coming whenever I brought Jill. He was still upset that I had rejected him. Eddie and Angeline were on a date so we were alone today. Dimitri and Sonya were going to meet us there and Adrian was staying away from me. Mostly because I requested it. We still hadn't talked about the "incident".

Jill finally came out of the dorm ignoring the fact I was even there. Her soft brown hair styled with fake curls bobbed up and down as she walked. The girls who lived across from Jill and Angeline stared at the young Moroi with envy. Jill was unbelievably pretty and no human could compete with that. Most vampires were more attractive than humans. They were also skinnier, nicer and more trustworthy. But unholy and wrong. Very wrong.

Flashes of the "incident" streaked across my mind and I swallowed hard. No matter how much I enjoyed spending time with them, I could let myself admit it. Besides, what I thought wouldn't even matter. I never got a say in my life because the Alchemists always refused to let me have a life. Going out with Brayden even proved I was incapable of teenage leveled social interaction.

"Jill, don't walk anywhere without an escort!" I snapped. My positive attitude towards the girl had been slowly deteriorating for the past couple of weeks. At first it was because of her, but I realized I didn't even need her to like me. She was just a mission and the only thing I had to worry about was successfully completing my mandate. Yet, there was a very minuscule part of me that wished she treating me like I was her sister, like she used to.

Jill rolled her eyes but then stiffened and her expression changed multiple times. It went from apathetic, to guilty, to sorrow, to confusion, and then anger. Adrian was sending her thoughts. To anyone else, it may have looked like she was bipolar.

"Why? Not like you care about us rotten, evil, unholy vampires anyway." She said coldly.

I honestly hadn't even known Jill was capable of such hate. Not even when she was being bullied because she was pretty. I knew I hadn't even done anything to Jill. I knew, even though no one had talked about it, she was angry at me because I left Adrian. I hadn't ever been with Adrian in the first place but I was guessing he had some pretty negative thoughts about me, seeing I had inadverdently given him mixed signals.

However in my defense, he should have known I was ignorant on the subject of male-female interaction. In fact he did know, but some part of me just thought he liked me so much that he couldn't hold it in. The way his mouth was pressed against mine, had been urgent and needy, yet passionate and hungry. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.

I had been thinking about it at the most inopportune moments. During volleyball practice, errands for Mrs. Terwilliger, even while driving which was incredibly unsafe. Luckily, I wasn't driving yet. I was merely sitting in my car waiting for Jill to get done talking to Julia and Kristin who had intercepted us on our way down from the dorm. I hadn't been in the mood to talk to anyone.

I frowned. I hadn't talked to anyone. Not since the day of the "incident". Jill had been completely unforgiving and cold. Eddie had been completely confused by Jill's actions because she hadn't told anyone else, but he had distanced himself from the situation. This was no doubt because of Angeline. He was fully absorbed by her, and yet I could see he still pined after Jill, who had just started noticing him.

Why were relationships so complicated? It would be much simpler if the people were understanding, and everyone was just honest with each other. But it wasn't like I needed to talk to them anyway. Jill was just an assignment and every one else was just an evil, unholy creature I had to work with. None of us were friends, or anything more. That was as far I was willing our relationships to go.

I started Latte up as soon as Jill took her time climbing into the backseat. She had been making an effort to irritate me. I restrained the urge to roll my eyes and head off towards Clarence's house. The search for his son, Marcus, was still not going well either. Queen Vasilisa had been informed and the Court was making an effort to look for him. I hadn't told the Alchemists yet, and I resolved to do so soon.

My cell phone rang, the moment we were two blocks away from the house. I pulled over and looked at the caller ID. It was Adrian and I stared at it confused. I had made it clear that I didn't want to talk to him but something told me I should pick it up. Adrian wouldn't call unless he had to. He respected me and my wishes. If there was a reason to call then it was probably important.

"Sage!" He screamed when I answered.

"Adrian." I breathed with relief. My body was betraying me again, and I couldn't even deny how good it sounded to hear his voice. I should have despised him after what happened. I should have wanted him wiped off the face of the earth but I didn't. I didn't exactly know what I wanted.

"Don't bring Jill here." He said coughing. There were shouts and loud noises from his end. It clicked off and I stared at the phone confused until Jill grabbed my shoulder. Her face was contorted with fear and anxiety.

"Sydney, Clarence's house is on fire. We have to get there. Dimitri was getting Clarence out and I don't know where Sonya is. I'm in there alone. The fire's everywhere. I'm trapped in the kitchen. I can't breath." She started saying frantically.

"Jill, look at me. You're in the car, here, with me. You're not Adrian." The moment I said this, Jill words registered in my mind. Adrian was trapped alone in the burning house. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.

I didn't regret breaking several road laws to get to address.

Sonya was bent over Clarence trying to heal him. He was slightly burned in some places and there were several blisters on his face. If Clarence was burned, then Adrian was probably burnt to a crisp. I didn't think. I just ran into the house. The kitchen was adjoined to the living room, but several parts of the roof had collapsed, blocking the entrance.

"Adrian!" I screamed through the burning rubble. I was careful not to touch anything but it was still hot. The air was thick with the hot flames and smoke filled the air.

"Sage, I love my name, but I think it would be better if you got me out of here." He said.

I rolled my eyes and took off my jacket. Putting it over my hands, I grabbed the only thing in the living room that wasn't burning. Ironically, it was the fire poker. Using the momentum, of my body weight, I was able to clear some of the rubble. But it wasn't enough. I was getting drowsy. The smoke was getting to me. And it was unbearably hot.

A second later, I was laying down on the floor. Flames danced around me, mocking my defeat of saving Adrian. Before I could close my eyes, a stream of water hit me in the face. I saw Jill, looking angrily at me. She put the flames out on the rubble and Dimitri was clearing it.

Adrian got through and rushed over to my side. I tried to get up and tell him to get away from me, but I didn't have the strength. He picked me up and carried me outside. Once I was out, it was like a switch flipped on in my brain. The oxygen was flowing perfectly fine and I was capable of thought again. I rolled out of Adrian's arms, which I grudging admitted I had enjoyed being in, and onto the ground.

"Why?" I grunted.

"Because you were too weak to get up." Adrian offered.

I coughed once and took a deep breath. "I meant, why was the house on fire? Did you try to cook something?"

Adrian gave me a sarcastic smile. "Very funny Sage. No I did not try to cook. The house was attacked, which was why I told you not to bring Jill."

I looked at Dimitri and noticed everyone had been watching our exchange closely. I refrained from shouting at them all. It was as if they all did know what happened, though I knew that the only one that did was Jill. Jill had actually probably experienced it the same way Adrian had.

Oh God. Jill knew what it felt like to be kissing me. That was another reason why magic was horrible.

Dimitri cleared his throat and spoke. "I don't know what's going on, but the sooner we find Marcus, the more we'll know."

He and Sonya attended to Clarence, while Adrian went to go talk to Jill. I stood next to Latte alone. My car was the only one that cared for me and I only cared for me car. Jill and Adrian came up to me as soon as they were done talking. I noticed Jill looked a little less hateful and climbed into the passenger seat.

"What did you say to her?" I asked curiously. Every time I tried to avoid speaking to him or thinking of him was futile. Ultimately when it came down to it, I actually liked talking to him. Before it had gotten uncomfortable and awkward, Adrian was the closest thing I had to a friend.

"Sydney, I don't want you to feel like you're not her friend. Because you are. Don't deny it. Just let me help you get a friend back, if not anything else." He said. He was wrong, though. Adrian was more like my friend. Jill was like a little sister.

I nodded and then, went to ask him the question I wanted to ask him for the past couple of weeks. But I hesitated. I didn't want to have that talk. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. He would say something extremely confusing and I would be more conflicted than I was now. Besides, my love life was not the priority.

Keeping Jill alive was.

Finding Marcus was.

Providing stability for the Moroi government was.

No matter what happened, my duty preceded what I wanted. And it always would.

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**If you liked this, please give it a review and tell me what you liked. If you didn't like it I would like to hear that too.**

**And also please note: THIS IS A ONESHOT!**

**I have made up my mind up about this. I only had the interest of creating this scene and I honestly don't know if I can get into Sydney's head for a full story.**

**Thanks for reading and remember to please review!**

**-Reya **


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